


feelin' like you're edible

by annie_reckson



Series: i think i'm in love again [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Past Relationships, Slight pining, discussions of sexual acts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-23
Updated: 2015-10-23
Packaged: 2018-04-27 18:42:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5059786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annie_reckson/pseuds/annie_reckson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But really, Scott is fine. Sure, the best partner he ever had in the most sexually fulfilling relationship he ever had is officially engaged. To someone that isn’t Scott. But that doesn’t mean he’s going to cry into his pillow and write bad poetry and stalk around outside Derek’s apartment to see what he’s doing.</p><p>He’s going to be an adult about it. Because Scott is an adult. With a phD on freshly printed paper that has his name beautifully written across it with “Veterinary of Medicine” written underneath. So he is going to go back to Beacon Hills as a fresh graduate just looking to spend some time this summer with his friends while taking over Deaton’s practice.</p><p>The timing is certainly not best, but Scott has already promised himself that he isn’t going to spend time pining over Derek. He’s definitely not going to try and wreck their engagement. And, despite Stiles’s insistence, he is not going to key Parrish’s car or do anything unsavory to his deputy uniform.</p><p>He’s an adult now. He can definitely handle heartbreak like an adult.</p>
            </blockquote>





	feelin' like you're edible

**Author's Note:**

> _So this was supposed to be for a lovely thing called Fuck Scerek Anon Week on Tumblr, but I'm procrastinating trash so it's roughly two weeks late or so. Ah well, have some angsty Scerek that absolutely no one asked for!_

Scott’s phone dings again while he’s packing up his clothes. For a brief second, he considers not checking it because he’s pretty sure he already knows what it’s going to say, not to mention he’s never going to be out of his rental before midnight tonight if he keeps getting distracted. Still, with a gentle huff, he pulls it out of his pocket and unlocks the screen. Unsurprisingly, it’s another text from Kira.

_Are you sure you’re okay with it?_

He knows that she means well. Just like Stiles meant well when he called him last week to deliver the news and they’d stayed on the phone for two hours because Stiles felt the need to both constantly reassure Scott of how amazing he was and how anyone would be lucky to have Scott as their fiance instead of some sunshine-faced deputy. Not to mention constantly asking about his mental well-being, just to be sure.

But really, Scott is fine. Sure, the best partner he ever had in the most sexually fulfilling relationship he ever had is officially engaged. To someone that isn’t Scott. But that doesn’t mean he’s going to cry into his pillow and write bad poetry and stalk around outside Derek’s apartment to see what he’s doing.

He’s going to be an adult about it. Because Scott is an adult. With a phD on freshly printed paper that has his name beautifully written across it with “Veterinary of Medicine” written underneath. So he is going to go back to Beacon Hills as a fresh graduate just looking to spend some time this summer with his friends while taking over Deaton’s practice.

The timing is certainly not best, but Scott has already promised himself that he isn’t going to spend time pining over Derek. He’s definitely not going to try and wreck their engagement. And, despite Stiles’s insistence, he is not going to key Parrish’s car or do anything unsavory to his deputy uniform.

He’s an adult now. He can definitely handle heartbreak like an adult.

 

***

 

In a possibly lucky turn of events, Scott spends his first few days back in Beacon Hills catching up with everyone who isn’t Derek. He gets to see the new community center that Isaac and Boyd have been working on in the Warehouse district, although he makes sure to leave as soon as he can to avoid the urge to wander over to a certain person’s loft apartment. One morning, he and Erica race their motorcycles past the Preserve and into the mountains before grabbing something approximating brunch at the smallest, dirtiest diner they can find. It’s, of course, amazing. Lydia gets into town a couple days after he does and they bond over their shared doctorate experiences, however different they may have been.

The closest he comes to an altercation is when he’s hanging out with Stiles - while Stiles is on duty in his patrol car - eating lunch from some fast food place and Derek’s car drives by. Stiles, mouth full of greasy curly fries, offers to pull him over for not using his turn signal, but Scott talks him down. He also, once again, has to talk him out of doing anything to Parrish’s uniform.

“Stiles, dude, we’re in our mid-twenties now. We’re not going to egg his house or put cayenne in his underwear or anything like that.”

“Way to take the fun out of everything, Scotty,” Stiles slurps loudly from his oversized soda.

It’s a similar situation the next day when he gets to see Kira while she’s on her lunch break from teaching at the elementary school. She’s all nervous smiles and constant questions about his personal life, coming nearly close to using the “D-word” but clearly trying to refrain.

“Kira,” Scott smiles, “You worry too much about me, I’m really fine.”

“I know, I know, I know,” She worries her bottom lip between her teeth, “I just wanna make sure you’re okay. I know how you and....how you two were.”

Scott sighs, “Derek and I were a great couple, okay? But we didn’t work out. And I’m okay with that. And he’s happy and engaged to someone else and I’m okay with that, too,” He waits for her face to relax, “Now tell me about what you’ve been up to the past couple of years while my nose has been stuck in anatomy textbooks.”

When he says it like that, it doesn’t exactly feel like lying.

 

***

 

His peaceful Derek-less existence was bound to be infringed on eventually, and it finally happens when he gets a text from Lydia telling him to be at Derek’s loft the next night for his engagement party. A party that Lydia no doubt had to strong-arm Derek into having, much less having at his own residence. Knowing there’s no way he’ll be able to get out of it, Scott texts back an affirmation and promptly grabs a soda from his fridge.

Once he’s resting on his couch, one foot propped up on the coffee table, he finally lets his mind wander. It’s his apartment, no parents, no roommates, no one with a key to it except him and Stiles - in case of an emergency - who won’t be done with his shift for at least three or four hours. So that gives him ample time to sit and reflect on everything he hasn’t allowed himself to think about since hearing about Derek’s engagement.

Because, truthfully, they’d been good together, like, really good. It had been a sort of accidental thing, them finally getting together, but once it happened, Scott wasn’t sure why they hadn’t done it sooner. The attraction, really, had always been there under the surface, where it could be ignored or overpowered into submission. It was kind of impossible not to be instantly attracted to Derek, with his ridiculously handsome face and kind of crazy-hot body. Although, Scott found that easy to dismiss when he was first getting to know Derek, considering how shitty Derek’s attitude was in the beginning.

As he got older, though, and consequently more powerful, Scott began to see the softness around Derek’s edges. He’d have to be an idiot to not notice the way Derek looked after him, even after Scott became an Alpha. There was a moment, after the Oni, that Scott had a revelation: Stiles would always have his back, of course, because they were best friends and brothers, but Derek supported him just as much as Stiles did, without the decades-long connection. Before Scott even realized it, he found himself looking forward to spending time with Derek, finding that Derek could be the amazing mentor that Scott had needed when he first got bitten.

So that was the mental box Scott forced him in, “Mentor”, even if deep down he knew there was more to their relationship - could be more to their relationship than that. By the time Derek gave him his head nod of approval in Mexico before running off with Braeden, Scott realized his mistake. Of course, once it was too late.

At the time, it was easy to push the feelings down again. Senior year was full of distractions, both natural and, well, supernatural. It only took Scott a handful of texts and a few voicemails to recognize that Derek had washed his hands of Beacon Hills. Which hurt, yeah, but Scott didn’t have the luxury of ruminating on the loss when there were so many more important things, and people, that needed his attention.

Which explained his surprise during winter break of his junior year of college, when he ran into Derek at the supermarket. Nearly literally. Scott was picking up something easy to make for dinner, seeing as his mom was working another long shift in preparation for taking a few days off around Christmas, and he came close to bumping right into Derek walking through in the deli.

_Derek had smiled, looking like Scott was the best thing he’d seen all day, and, after a bit of catching up next to the specialty cheeses, invited Scott back to the loft for coffee. To his own surprise, Scott accepted then and there, following the familiar Toyota down a street in an area of town he hadn’t been to in almost two years._

_Once they’re inside and chatting and drinking Derek’s perfectly brewed coffee, Scott noticed how happy Derek seemed, how relaxed his whole demeanor was, so different from the Derek that Scott first met. He was smiling so much then, telling Scott about his adventures with Braeden and why he eventually decided to come back to Beacon Hills - reasoning that basically boiled down to him missing the city and the people in it._

_“Especially you, Scott,” Derek admitted, a bit sheepishly._

_“What! No way! All we ever did was fight with each other. I figured you’d be glad to not have a know-it-all high schooler second-guessing everything you did,” Scott cocked his head._

_“You couldn’t be more wrong,” Derek shook his head and there was a moment where they just held each other’s gaze, silently acknowledging how much they’d missed each other, “So,” Derek took a long sip of his coffee, “How are your classes going?”_

_Their conversation lingered and coffee turned into beer and pizza. Which turned into Scott staying much longer than he’d anticipated. When he tried to leave, after finally checking his phone and seeing how late it was, Derek tugged him by his shirt collar until their lips met and Scott melted into it. In retrospect, Scott wished he’d been more sure of himself rather than just fumbling his fingers around Derek’s back until Derek finally moved them to the couch, but the result was still amazing._

_That night was relatively tame, just the two of them making out, hands roaming up shirts and pressing against taut muscles. Scott ended up staying the night, borrowing Derek’s pajamas and cuddled up against Derek in his massive, comfortable bed. The next morning, they had coffee - again - and talked. It was kind of a new thing for Scott, he was used to hapless fumbling and careless zippers, not calm discussions with pale sunlight cascading through loft windows._

_Derek’s way, he thinks, is much better. A thought that Scott never imagined would pass through his mind. It all makes him feel likes he’s in a Mature Adult Relationship, and he can practically feel the capital letters._

_Part of their discussions was negotiating their kinks, which is how Scott found out that sometimes Derek really likes being told what to do by someone, instead of having to navigate the situation himself. He realized on his own that it was because Derek’s thoughts could overwhelm him, his mind got cluttered easily and he wasn’t always able to clear it on his own. Scott learned to notice the subtle stiffness in his posture, the downward tilt of his mouth, and the increased lines in his forehead that meant it was time for Derek to take a break._

_That’s when he makes everyone else leaves the loft, when he places a firm hand on the back of Derek’s neck, let him know it’s okay to relax and let someone else take over. It’s not a time for traditional sex, usually they just end up staying in the main room, where Derek gets down on his knees when Scott asks him to and lets Scott thread his fingers through his thick hair. The first few times Scott felt wrong somehow about it, like he was still forcing Derek even though Derek insisted it was what he wanted._

_They devised a system for times like this, Derek’s hands loosely gripping Scott’s thighs while Scott tugged on his hair and thrusted into his mouth; three short squeezes meant that he wasn’t okay, two squeezes meant Scott needed to slow down. It rarely got used, but Scott always felt better knowing that it was in place._

_It was great, really great, for awhile, but in the end it was probably the capital letters that did Scott in. He’d always thought he’d be the type that could do a long-distance relationship, and it wasn’t like fidelity was a problem, but he found himself increasingly stressed whenever he was back on campus and oftentimes Derek was just as much part of the issue as he was the solution._

_Not that Scott ever complained, but Derek was really needy, like dozens-of-texts-a-day-plus-a-Skype-date-if-possible needy. Which was cute at first, and wouldn’t have been an issue if Scott wasn’t hours away trying to also juggle his classes, but it started to wear on Scott when finals rolled in. There were days when Scott would lose himself in textbooks and notes for upwards of six or seven hours and resurface to find texts and missed calls from Derek._

_The worst was, he always apologized when he found out that Scott had been studying, which somehow only made Scott feel worse. He could hear the frustration in his own voice and hated how the stress was getting to him. And without a fail, he would always get a multitude of encouraging texts from Derek the day of his finals, which always made him smile and wonder why he’d been annoyed in the first place._

_The best day was always when he’d get back to Beacon Hills, practically running up the stairs to the loft and watching Derek slide the door open before he even got there, having caught his scent when he got close.  The sex was always fantastic - the very definition of fucking, really - full of mouths pressing everywhere haphazardly, hands pushing down against the other as they playfully struggled for dominance, hungry for each other after the last few months apart. Scott loved pushing Derek into the floor, pressing his forearms against the polished concrete, and straddling him in triumph. There was something beautiful in the noises he’d make as Scott sucked quickly-disappearing bruises into his tan skin._

Scott stops himself there when he notices one of his hands absentmindedly rubbing his crotch. There are definitions of loneliness and Scott is pretty sure that sitting alone and jacking off to the memory of your ex-boyfriend is one of them. Besides, he doesn’t feel like he’s allowed to be nostalgic about their relationship, considering he was the one that ended it in the first place.

 

***

 

Naturally, Stiles tries to talk him out of going to the engagement party, “Dude, we could just stay home and get blazed and watch some bad movies together. I’ve got a pretty decent list going on Netflix.”

Scott shakes his head, sifting through his closet for something decent to wear, “Aren’t you a cop? You can’t exactly ‘get blazed’ can you?”

Stiles stands up from his spot on Scott’s bed, “Hey man, I quit just long enough to pass that stupid drug test. As long as I don’t injure myself on the job or light up before I go on duty, I’m fine. And I don’t work tomorrow so we’re alright.”

Scott shrugs, finally grabbing a plaid button up and pulling it on over his tank top, "How does this look?"

"Like you're trying to show a certain werewolf what he's missing out on."

"No," Scott rolls his eyes, "It's not like that. I just know that Lydia will murder me if I don't look nice. Remember when we showed up to her dinner party in the dirty shirts and sweatpants we slept in?"

Stiles laughs, his mouth wide open, "I've never seen her face so red, I'm sure she would have killed us if Allison hadn't calmed her down."

"And she'll kill us if we don't show up tonight, you know it."

"Uggggh," Stiles groans, "I just don't wanna."

"Dude, if it's really bad, I promise we can sneak out and hit up that all-night diner we used to crash in all the time in senior year, alright?"

Stiles grins, "I'll take you up on that. Mostly because I can't imagine this not sucking. For you at least."

Scott stares at his reflection in the full length mirror, sighing heavily, "Yeah."

 

***

 

Not surprisingly, pretty much everyone is already there when they arrive. Scott can see Isaac and Allison chatting with Erica, while Kira is telling some story rather animated to Malia and Boyd. Once Scott gets an eyefull of Boyd, dressed in tight slacks and a charcoal shirt, he already knows that Stiles will be awkwardly shifting around him all night, pretending like he doesn't have a massive crush.

Lydia gives them a smirk as she saunters over to hand them each a drink. She kisses them both on the cheek slightly less coolly and walks over to Allison's side. They both take tentative sips, expecting Lydia's usual overly sweet concoctions that are actually loaded with alcohol and tasting exactly that. Stiles lets out a groan of approval while Scott silently hopes that there's beer somewhere.

Everyone there gives them welcoming smiles and nods, it’s only Kira that seems to cringe a little when she sees Scott. Naturally, Stiles corrals Scott over to Kira and Boyd, ignorant of how Kira’s looking at Scott like he’s a lost puppy stuck in a rainstorm that she can’t rescue. He tries to focus on their conversation, but he can faintly hear voices in the kitchen that he recognizes and it takes most of his control not to listen in. There’s really no need for him to torture himself further by listening to whatever Derek and Parrish are telling each other in private, although they should know better by now, since they’re constantly surrounded by supernatural creatures.

In any case, he doesn’t struggle for long, the two of them enter the main room shortly thereafter, all warm smiles and soft t-shirts. Parrish is wearing a deep V-neck that makes him look really nice and Scott has to try and not hate him. He decides to flat-out ignore how relaxed and content Derek looks, for his own emotional well-being,

For the first half hour or so, Scott is able to avoid them by pretending to be absorbed in conversation with Kira and Boyd while they mingle amongst everyone else. Every once in awhile, he’ll try to get a glimpse of them in his peripheral vision and always catches one of both of them looking his way. It’s disconcerting to say the least.

He’s trying so hard to keep the two of them unfocused that Parrish (despite what Lydia says, he will never get used to calling this man _Jordan_ ) is able to appear by his side without warning, nearly startling both Scott and Stiles. If Parrish notices how unsettled they are, he pretends to be ignorant. Instead he gives Scott a beaming smile and a lingering once-over.

“Derek and I are so happy you could make it tonight,” Parrish offers, “It’s great to see you.”

“Yeah,” Stiles steps slightly so he creates space between them, “We almost weren’t able to make it, but Scotty decided that we should show our faces. For, you know, solidarity or whatever. And because he’s totally in a great place right now. We both are. But mostly Scott. Did you know he just got his phD?”

While Scott appreciates the effort Stiles is making, it’s obvious Parrish is barely listening. Which is fine, it’s not like Scott’s achievements or anything should matter to him. Still, though, seeing him here in front of him and so obviously happy makes all the baser parts of Scott’s personality want to bear their claws, the sadistic parts of his wolf that he never lets out, that he controls so well.

Seeing the toothy smile on Parrish’s face makes Scott want to flash his eyes possessively and lean in and whisper-ask if Parrish knows about the time Derek had been far too over-stressed and had come home to Scott lying completely naked on the kitchen floor, fully erect. If Parrish knows how Scott had ordered Derek to crawl across the linoleum on his hands and knees to get to him. And how beautiful Derek had looked doing just that; how Scott could feel himself leaking all over his stomach before Derek finally crawled all the way across the floor and took him in his mouth. How that was probably the most amazing blowjob Scott had received in his entire life, and how he’d cradled Derek in his lap for almost an hour afterwards until he was ready to stand up again.

Scott wants to bear his teeth and ask Parrish if he knows how many times Scott would lay in the afterglow of their combined efforts and just watch the abrasive redness on his thighs and ass from beard burn fade until his skin was perfectly healed again. He wants to ask Parrish if he knows what it’s like to have your partner orgasm just from you dragging your nails all down their overly sensitive skin. And because Parrish is still staring at him like he admires him, Scott wants to ask him in they ever fuck like they’re at war against each other, but a casual war; you want to win, but you’re not put-out by losing either. Especially if losing means getting to lie on your stomach for hours while a wet tongue and dry stubble abuse the sensitive skin below your back.

It’s only when Derek finally appears beside Parrish, single beer in one hand and two dangling from his thick, hairy fingers that Scott feels his baser wants finally secede. Derek offers Scott one of the dangling bottles and hands the other to Parrish, chuckling when Parrish ( _Jordan_ ) leans up to whisper something in his ear. It’s seeing the flush on Derek’s cheeks caused by a combination of happiness and alcohol that makes Scott realize...

...It doesn’t matter.

 

 


End file.
